Woman Refuses to Tip Her Waitress After Hearing a Racial Slur From Her Mouth, Boyfriend’s Mom Gets Involved

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Aug 1, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet enthusiasts. In 2024, we're more progressive than we ever were before. You can't throw around slurs like you used to (thank goodness), and if you do, other people may get involved. There's also a lot of debate around tipping servers. You're either on one side, or the other. Either you're for tipping, and you like to tip to show your appreciation, or you refuse to tip on principle. It can cause strife even between friends and family members. The tippers are holier than thou, and the non tippers are rude. 

This brings us to the Reddit story. There's some obvious racism going on before this woman's boyfriend and his mother arrive, but it immediately stops when the white people show up. So as a snub, the original poster (OP) refuses to give their server a tip. To the boyfriend's mom, it's rude regardless of what the server did. Not a very good impression on her…

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 5 days ago IndependentFar8420 AITAH for not tipping after overhearing what my waitress said about me?
    via u/IndependentFar8420
  • 02
    I (30 F) was at a restaurant last night with my mother. She was meeting my boyfriends mom for the first time. We're punctual people, so we got there about 30 minutes before our reservation. We got seated with no issues. It took the waitress 20 minutes to get to our table even though the restaurant was pretty empty.
    via u/IndependentFar8420
  • 03
    Right away I could tell the she didn't want to wait on us. She didn't great us with a "hello," she just asked what we wanted to drink. We told her, and I noticed that she didn't write our order down. It took another 15 minutes for our drinks to get to our table, and they were wrong. It's hard to mess up a gingerale and a vodka soda, but she did.
    via u/IndependentFar8420
  • 04
    My mom pointed out that she didn't order a pepsi, and the waitress rolled her eyes, took my mother's glass and disappeared. I excused myself to use the washroom shortly after. I had no idea where I was going, so I went to the entrance to ask one of the hostesses there. While I was walking up to the server area, I
    via u/IndependentFar8420
  • 05
    overheard my waitress talking to some other hostesses. She was that she had to wait on "a black table" because "they" never tip well. My mother and I were the only black people in the restaurant. She wasn't even whispering when she said it either.
    via u/IndependentFar8420
  • 06
    I wasn't stunned, but her lack of effort started to make sense. I interrupted their conversation, and I asked where the bathroom was. I didn't let on that I had heard what they were talking about. When I got out of the bathroom, my boyfriend and his mom were already seated. My boyfriend and his mother are
    via u/IndependentFar8420
  • 07
    white. When my waitress saw the rest of our party, she did a 180. Her service was stellar. She took notes, told jokes, and our water glasses were always filled. She didn't make another mistake.
    via u/IndependentFar8420
  • 08
    Because the night went so well, I decided to treat everyone and pay the check. She gave me the machine, and I smiled at her while I keyed in "0%" for a tip. She didn't notice until after the receipt had been printed out. By that time, all of us had already started to leave. She tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I
    via u/IndependentFar8420
  • 09
    had made a mistake on the bill. I told her I didn't think so, and looked at the receipt. She asked if there was a problem with her service, and I said her service was fantastic, but since I was a black woman, I don't tip well. Her face went white, and she kind of laughed nervously, and I laughed as well. I walked out after that,
    via u/IndependentFar8420
  • 10
    but my boyfriends mom asked what had happened.
    via u/IndependentFar8420
  • 11
    I told her what I had overheard, and my boyfriend's mom said that I should've tipped her anyway because it shows character. She seemed pretty I at me after that. My boyfriend and my mom are both on my side, but I'm wondering if I should've just thrown in a $2 tip?
    via u/IndependentFar8420
  • 12
    ellaf21 • 5d ago NTA. I worked as a server for six years and I would absolutely not expect a tip for behaving like this to customers. She probably does not make much in tips, and this industry isn't for her. It's so inappropriate to
    via u/ellaf21
  • 13
    ask people why they didn't tip you, this is so embarrassing.
    via u/ellaf21
  • 14
    Lmaooowit 5d ago NTA. I definitely wouldn't have tipped after that. Even the waitress knew it was bad when she asked why and you told her the reason. No way should someone tip after that.
    via u/Lmaooowit
  • 15
    jeanabanina 5d ago Honestly, she needs to learn that lesson the hard way - be kind to people, don't stereotype and discriminate, and don't talk badly behind peoples back. You're not TAH, she is TAH.
    via u/jeanabanina
  • 16
    Top_Airport6285 • 5d ago Nah, you pulled a discreet, classy power move on that racist, mate. I think you did it perfectly. WTH is bf's mother thinking trying to lecture you about it? What would she know about it?
    via u/Top_Airport6285
  • 17
    88eth • 5d ago Nah, no tip is fine. Actually you should leave a negative review too naming her, maybe asked for her boss. Thats racism.
    via u/88eth
  • 18
    Healthy-Magician... • 5d ago Shows character? What character, that you're a doormat who can be walked over? Your boyfriend's mom sounds kind of stupid.
    via u/Healthy-Magician
  • 19
    OregonnoTrix • 5d ago NTA. This was perfect. You did not cause a scene yet made her perfectly aware of the consequences of her racism. This was an incredible teaching moment that hopefully made an impact on a diseased mind. I
    via u/OregonnoTrix
  • 20
    hope she felt a deep shame. that will make her reflect and question herself. If it were me and I liked the restaurant I'd ask for a different section and tip extra well the next time, lol.
    via u/OregonnoTrix
  • 21
    Ok-Sea3170 5d ago NTA. She should be thanking you for not reporting her and getting her fired.
    via u/Ok-Sea3170
  • 22
    OceanBreeze_123 • 5d ago NTA and I'm pretty at the bf's mom who thought rewarding a racist would be a sign of character. Screams volumes about herself. Your response to waitress was superb.
    via u/OceanBreeze_123
  • 23
    slater3750 ⚫5d ago You gave her a tip. Don't be racist.
    via u/slater3750
  • 24
    EzMowgli 5d ago NTA, a tip is for good service. I'd say she ruined your dining experience.
    via u/EzMowgli
  • 25
    MyChoiceNotYours • 5d ago NTA just tell her you don't reward racism as it's one of the many things wrong in the world.
    via u/MyChoiceNotYours
  • 26
    nezrisa 5d ago NTA. I used to be a waitress also and I'm white. I used to work with jerks like the waitress you had and it's unacceptable.
    via u/nezrisa
  • 27
    El Rompido ⚫5d ago While you're 100% NTA... what the ... is the deal with arriving 30 minutes early? That's absolutely mental behaviour.
    via u/El Rompido

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